Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Aug 26, 2009
duit raya terlebih pulak camana nih
Raya taun ni aku rasa macam pemurah sgt...so kepada siapa2 tak cukup duit nak bagi duit raya utk dibagi kat anak2 buah ke...leh la singgah rumah aku, amik kat stor aku berapa korang nak amik la. syarat utama posa kena cukup tu jek
Aug 20, 2009
cara2 pegang tiang masa LRT / monorail bergerak!
Cara2 terbaik untuk memegang semasa anda naik LRT ke monorail ke Komuter.. takut jatuh plak kang kalo train tetiba brek :p
err.. tolong refer kat pakcik tua tu ye utk cara yang betul!!!
.
Jul 28, 2009
good answer
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
*********
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
*********
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
*********
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
*********
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
*********
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
*********
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
*********
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
*********
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
*********
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
*********
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
*********
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
*********
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
*********
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
*********
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
*********
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
*********
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
*********
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
*********
May 28, 2009
May 26, 2009
kids :)
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
May 25, 2009
May 23, 2009
management lessons
*LESSON 1*
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a genie appears. The ghost says,"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each." So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas ,on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff... And he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff.... And he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST."
-------------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 2*
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen,"said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING."
---------------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 3*
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese! Etc......??? "The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what?kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE."
-------------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 4*
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to be, and then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last was the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.
---------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 5*
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain.......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood......... I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach..... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs........... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes........... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole...... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE."
--------------------------------------------------------
:)
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a genie appears. The ghost says,"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each." So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas ,on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff... And he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff.... And he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST."
-------------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 2*
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen,"said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING."
---------------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 3*
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese! Etc......??? "The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what?kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "NEVER INSULT ANYONE."
-------------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 4*
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to be, and then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last was the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.
---------------------------------------------------------
*LESSON 5*
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain.......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood......... I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach..... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs........... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes........... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole...... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE."
--------------------------------------------------------
:)
May 22, 2009
Apr 10, 2009
Apr 2, 2009
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Mar 31, 2009
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MCCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because it recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the road together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......... reboot.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
Chicken shall not shit while crossing the road. This is for a green environment.
LEE KUAN YEW:
We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should follow instructions while crossing the road.
SAMY VELLA:
Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MCCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because it recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the road together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......... reboot.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
Chicken shall not shit while crossing the road. This is for a green environment.
LEE KUAN YEW:
We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should follow instructions while crossing the road.
SAMY VELLA:
Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.
SHAHLIR:
All foreign chickens are welcome in Malaysia but they must not cross over the road within 50km of the border.
NAJID RAZAK:
What chickens? I don't know any chickens... especially those from Mongolia.
ABDULLAH DADAWI
We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. ........ Zzzzzz .......zzzzzz ....... Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.
MAHADHIR:
Now even non-bumi chickens want to cross the road! How can they disrespect and disregard apa nama bumi chickens? We must be allowed to cross over first. It is our special privilege and no one can challenge that!
ANNWAR:
We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.
.
Mar 25, 2009
sebelum tido..baca selimut?
takde buku nak baca...baca la tulisan kat selimut tu hehe confirm ngantuk, kat mana ada jual selimut nih
Mar 24, 2009
super zinging unstoppable max toilet
tak habis bab toilet..kali ni pasal public toilet yg cantik..
Japanese coffee company Georgia painted public toilets at several ski resorts to mimic a ski jumper's perspective, wrapping the walls in illustrations of mountains and drawing skis where the feet go, and a giant slope on the front wall. Apparently, the toilet paper holder says:
“Seriously kick-ass intensely sweet for the real coffee super zinging unstoppable Max! Taste-explosion!”
aku nak modify toilet kat rumah buat mcm ni lah.. confirm x sembelit haha..
Mar 15, 2009
Mar 1, 2009
Feb 21, 2009
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